How to Turn 'The Tortured Poets Department' Into an Effective—and Fun—Workout

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Apr 24, 2024 5:44 PM CUT

The Tortured Poets Department Workout

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Angela Haupt

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Angela Haupt

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Apr 24, 2024 5:44 PM CUT

If you’ve been exercising your vocal cords to Taylor Swift’s album The Tortured Poets Department, it might be time to move on to other body parts—like your arms, legs, and core. We asked three fitness trainers how to turn a handful of Swift’s new tunes into a fun and effective workout.

Fortnight

Use the opening track on The Tortured Poets Department as a warm-up for the rest of your workout, advises Kelly Borowiec, a certified personal trainer in San Francisco.

Perform 14 reps (to mimic a fortnight) of each exercise.

Repeat for the duration of the song—and each time you hear the word “fortnight,” turn your head to the side and give one of Swift’s iconic dramatic looks, Borowiec suggests.

The Tortured Poets Department

Borowiec calls this routine The Tortured Legs Department, because it contains “slow, torturous squats.” 

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Repeat for the duration of the song. Beginners can perform every other rep and/or only go part of the way down in the squat, Borowiec says; those who are more advanced can hold weights to feel an extra burn. During the rest periods, do some “mom-crooning,” as Swift calls it: Sway, dance, and sing along, making whatever face and hand gestures speak to you as you get lost in the music.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

This workout is focused on core exercises, which can be performed at a slower tempo. The key is to focus on deliberate and controlled movements without compromising form, Borowiec says. That way, unlike Swift’s boy, you won’t be breaking anything important.

Perform each of these abdominal exercises for 30 seconds. Take 13 seconds of rest (a nod to Swift, who was born on December 13 and often references the number) between each set, Borowiec advises.

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Down Bad

This song has a fast “ticking/drumming” beat in the background, Borowiec points out, which allows for synchronization of faster cardio movements. She recommends singing aloud as you perform these cardiovascular moves—just as Swift did when getting in shape for the Eras Tour.

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Perform each exercise for 45 seconds. Drop down and do a burpee every time you hear the word “down.”

Repeat for the duration of the song. 

So Long, London

This workout, designed by Borowiec, focuses on the upper body, targeting key areas such as your arms, shoulders, and chest. Aim to perform each move smoothly, using strength rather than momentum, she says—channeling the inner fortitude Swift mustered to leave behind her beloved London. 

Perform each exercise for 40 seconds, with dumbbells. 

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Tip: Have different size weights nearby to adjust difficulty as needed. If you don’t have dumbbells, you can use water bottles or soup cans. And since you’ll be moving your arms a lot, wear all the friendship bracelets you collected at the Eras Tour, Borowiec suggests.

Fresh Out the Slammer

Imagine you’ve just been freed from some metaphorical constraint, and your first move is to exercise your deep abdominals. Here's how, according to Lara Heimann, a certified yoga instructor and creator of the LYT Method based in Princeton, N.J.

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I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Try a barre workout for this stirring song, suggests Linda Magid, a fitness instructor at Denver Parks and Recreation in Colorado who also teaches online. It targets your arms and requires light weights (2 to 3 pounds); or, substitute a can of beans or a big book. "Dating someone you’re trying to fix is an incredible amount of work, and so is barre," Magid says.

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I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

One of the bounciest songs on The Tortured Poets Department calls for a cardio workout. Magid’s routine, which gets harder as the song continues, fittingly targets the heart and lungs.

Read More: 6 Compliments That Land Every Time

Clara Bow

With Borowiec’s instruction, turn this tune into a satisfying cool-down. Its calm rhythm makes it a good choice for stretching and relaxation, she says.

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Hold each stretch for 30 seconds. Switch sides halfway through the song.

Conclude the workout with three deep breaths: Reach your arms above the top of your head, make Taylor’s signature heart with your hands, and then release your arms down next to your sides. Inhale on the way up, Borowiec says, and exhale on the way down. Then enjoy the burning feel of those tortured ams, legs, and core.